Everyone knows the famous Homeland Security t-shirt -- it's a picture of Geronimo and three other Natives with the tagline "Fighting terrorism since 1492" -- but it's just one of many sly shirts that we've spotted on in-the-know Natives. In a way, wearing your tribal heritage -- and the legacy of injustice toward your people -- on your sleeve keeps history alive in our increasingly ahistorical age. There is irreverence here, and even jokes -- but the humor packs the punch of truth.
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Two young Native boys were bragging about how fast their Fathers are. One stands tall and boasts, "My Dad is so fast that He can shoot a deer with an arrow and get to it before it drops to the ground!
The second boy says, "Wow that is fast", then says "Well my Dad works for the BIA and he's so fast that he gets off work at five and he's home at four thirty!"
This was so funny milk shot out my nose!
1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me alone
2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and a leaky tire.
3. Its always darkest before dawn, so if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.
4. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
5. Always remember that you're unique, just like everyone else.
6. Never test the depth of the water with both feet
7. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
8. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
9. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
10. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
11. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.
12. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
13. Some days you're the bug; some days you're the windshield.
14. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
15. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.
16. A closed mouth gathers no foot.
17. Duct tape is like 'The Force,' it has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.
18. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.
19. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.
20. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
21. Never miss a good chance to shut up.
22. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
23. Your Hard Drive will fail the moment you do not back up something important.
24. If you contemplate your navel you will know true enlightenment, or the nature of lint
25. If You order a hot dog ask the vendor to make you one with everything
Remember all of human life is suffering, but then again I could be wrong.
